Questions for former brides

Ally Ahrens - How long did you plan for the big day?
* We got engaged Mid-February 2008 and got a wedding planning book that same week and started putting together ideas. We got down to brass tacks around Easter and chose our ceremony/reception site. We made vendor decisions between Christmas and New Years 2008. Everything from there was down hill.

Do you think it was long enough or could have been longer? Why?
* It was plenty long enough, possibly too long because there was a lot of waiting and down time that felt like I should be doing something but there was actually nothing to get done.

How far in advance did you get your dress?
* I purchased my dress in April 2009 and received it at the end of July.

How far in advance did you book:
- Ceremony/reception site(s)?
* 18 months
- Caterer?
* 18 months
- Cake maker?
* 10 months
- Photographer?
* 10 months
- Florist?
* N/A

Was there any login to the order in which you booked each of these vendors?
* We had to pick the venue first and Houmas House was hands down the only choice. We live out of state and in order to make the decisions for the other vendors, I had to set appointment times during our Christmas break and squeeze in everything all at once. Looking back now, I’m so glad we did this. Having weeks and even months between meeting with different vendors might make the decision making process harder.

How did you feel when you realized your day that you’d planned so long for was coming to an end? Did you feel good about it or did you feel as if it was too rushed? That is was happening all so quickly?
* We both felt that the day passed quickly, but after all was said and done, we just couldn’t wait to be alone and talked all the way to Costa Rica about everything that happened. It was amazing.

How much of your wedding day do you actually remember? Or were the emotions too strong for you to create lasting memories of it all?
* I feel that I remember almost everything about the wedding. I was very emotional and actually cried buckets of joy when we got back to the hotel, but that actually heightened my sense and I still have a pretty wide inventory of all the events.

What was the greatest thing that happened on your wedding day (the most memorable, special, unique, etc)?
* It was a little mistake that ended up being so funny and cute. My mom and maid of honor had just bustled my dress to start my first dance with Jason. As soon as I made my first turn the train of the dress dropped. My mom looked at me like she wanted to fix it, but as Jason and I danced, I just kept sweeping my dress behind me by kicking it. Lots of people afterwards told me how cute it was that I didn’t want to let go of my new husband and was willing to just kick the dress around. I loved that moment!

What time was your ceremony: afternoon or evening? Explain why or why not it was the best time to have a wedding.
*Our ceremony began at 4 PM and the reception ended at 8 PM. This was PERFECT timing for an outdoor wedding and reception. We wanted to have the “golden hour” lighting, as well as the beautiful Louisiana sunset, and then finally at night the Houmas House gardens and fountains are light up beautifully. We ended the reception by running through our guests holding sparklers. I felt a wedding at 4 PM really gives you many different types of lighting all within a few hours. Jason and I both wanted the wedding at this time for that specific reason.

Was the moment during which your groom first saw you on the wedding day as special as you expected it to be? Be real here. This is the moment most brides build up in their hearts to be the highlight of the entire day. Was it the moment you dreamed it would be?
* Hand to God – it was 100 times more perfect than I imagined. I knew he would be beaming with pride and very impressed with my dress and how I would look, but when my dad handed me over to Jason and I looked up at him, he was fighting back tears and I couldn’t have asked for a better reaction.

If you could do the “first look session” to get better quality photos of you and your new husband doing them PRIOR to the ceremony in a private session, would you do it? Would you recommend other brides to do it or do you feel the tradition of the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding day is more important than having better quality photos of themselves together? Please elaborate as much as possible on this topic.
* I really, REALLY thought I wanted to do the first look photos, but one of the things I love most about my new husband is his sense of tradition and the ability to stick to his guns. Looking back now, I am so glad we did not do the first look photos. When he took my hands in front of the reverend, he was bursting with happiness, he had tears in his eyes and he whispered “Wow, you look so amazing” before we got started with the ceremony. I will NEVER forget that! The anticipation for the ceremony to end so we could talk was one of the best things. I was itching to touch his face and tell him how handsome he was in his tuxedo. When we finally were able to talk after the ceremony, it was so passionate and heartfelt, I feel because of the anticipation and having to hold it all in because we were surrounded by friends and family. I wouldn’t trade that moment for the whole world. I really feel the first look photos are a fantastic idea and work well for many couples (ever one of our married friends did photos before the ceremony or even a few days prior). I would suggest a good long talk with your future husband, and if you choose not to do the first look photos, MAKE SURE you schedule in 5-10 minutes immediately after the ceremony for you to share your feelings with each other. Don’t miss out and get swept into the party right away. Those few minutes were absolutely the most precious of our entire wedding.

Looking back, what would you do differently at your wedding (if anything) if you were to start the planning process all over again? Think of anything from different vendors, more vendors in different categories, location changes, flowers, do wedding photos first look private bride-groom session BEFORE ceremony)? Anything?
1. I would make sure to hand out mosquito repellent wipes to all our guests (most were from the North and weren’t used to our giant mosquitos).
2. I would select a better DJ. We interviewed with the guy who owned the DJ company and he was amazing, but the DJ who actually played our wedding did NO follow up with us prior to the wedding. I actually had to have my maid of honor call the guy who owned the company while I was getting my hair done the morning of the wedding and make sure the DJ would be there, what his name was, what he looked like so we would recognize him, etc. He did quite a poor job and that is the ONLY set back of the evening.
3. I would have planned the wedding for slightly later in the year to minimize heat and humidity.

If you did not have one, would you choose and videographer to capture the “motion” of your day in an emotional manner if you were to do it all over again?
* Neither of us wanted a videographer. Everyone we walked to said that if they watched the wedding video at all, they only did so once or twice. Most said that they main guests who show up on the video are very drunk and persistent and embarrassing. We wanted to avoid that. We both felt that the photojournalistic style of wedding photography would capture any motion we really needed to see and the rest would wash out.

What do you WISH you knew going into the wedding planning process that you now know after the wedding?
* I would have liked to be warned about guest lists. We knew that some people would RSVP yes and not show up, but even up until the week before the wedding people had to drop out and by then they were already paid for at the reception. Also, I was amazed that even guest who came from out of state would bring “crashers” to the wedding (like the cousin who brings the “& guest” boyfriend and then he brings his mother..?). Very odd to have things like that happen – it really threw us both for a loop.

Any other advice for current brides?
* Just relax and have fun! My family and bridesmaids joked that I was the opposite of a bride-zilla and called me the bride-xanax because I was so relaxed and laid back about everything. One of my bridesmaids dropped out of the wedding, it was sad but oh well. I forgot to wear my veil as I walked down the aisle, no one noticed. If it rains on your wedding, it sucks but you chose an outdoor wedding and yelling at family or crying won’t make the rain stop. Shrug, smile and grab a cute umbrella from Steinmart on the way to the ceremony (or better yet, have a back up plan). It was the most magical day of my life and the comment we heard most often was “I’ve never seen a bride and groom having so much fun at their wedding”. That was amazing and awesome – and I didn’t need chiropractic work from stressing myself. Have fun and roll with the punches. People are human, mistakes happen, life goes on (with your new husband)!